1988 Celebrity road trip sitrep

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
12/12/2015 at 05:59 • Filed to: None

So my Mom’s donating this car to some family who have found themselves without one, and I get to take it on the 150 mile journey up to NH. The condition of the car is as follows:

The Good-

Brakes are strong

Engine runs like new (seriously, it only has to crank over for like 1/2 a second before starting)

It has the good Delco stereo

Despite the flaccid seats it’s wicked comfy

Whole car feels oddly solid and heavy, like an old Volvo

The Bad-

Cruise control is broken

Delco stereo is broken

Top of rear door seal is completely missing

Driver’s seat falls down when adjusting in it or getting in and out.

Hatch release button is broken and the key to open it is missing

DISCUSSION (28)

duurtlang > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
12/12/2015 at 06:03

Kinja'd!!!

Are you sure this is a car from the 80s and not from the 60s? The dash looks ancient.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > duurtlang
12/12/2015 at 06:07

It’s an ‘88 I swear. You can tell because the odometer goes up to six digits.

Leon711 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
12/12/2015 at 06:34

Donating it to a family in need gives me the feels.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
12/12/2015 at 07:47

Celebritys (Celebrities?) have a bit of a cult following. A friend of mine drove his forever until the frame rails rusted apart. You pretty much can’t kill them.

E92M3 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
12/12/2015 at 08:16

“Back in my day..rear defrost was an option”

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
12/12/2015 at 08:31

I’m scared that people are gonna see me in it and assume that it was all I could afford.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
12/12/2015 at 09:38

You'll become a hipster god, relax.

mazda616 > E92M3
12/12/2015 at 09:40

My first car was a ‘92 Chevrrolet Beretta with no rear defrost. Also had no tilt steering wheel, no cruise, no power trunk release and no power windows or locks. To say it was base was an understatement.

fhrblig > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
12/12/2015 at 09:41

For 7 of the 8 years I had my Celebrity, I didn’t have a working speedometer, let alone cruise control. Let’s see, you also couldn’t open the drivers’ side door (until I hacked away at the door panel so I could open it from the inside at least), a/c never worked, the front grille/headlight clip was held to the car with wire hangers and the cables to the headlights, it was missing hubcaps, and in the summer of its last year I had to drive with the heater on to keep the engine cool. Man, I miss that car. Seriously.

fhrblig > duurtlang
12/12/2015 at 09:42

My ‘83 looked slightly more dated, and didn’t even have a trip odometer.

Tohru > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
12/12/2015 at 10:00

elitist.

E92M3 > mazda616
12/12/2015 at 11:34

One of my trucks doesn’t have a radio. Hell, it didn’t even have a heater or sunvisors when I bought it.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
12/12/2015 at 12:47

Oh, have they moved on from Volvo 240s?

Spaceball-Two > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
12/12/2015 at 12:52

Good on ya for donating to someone in need. How are you getting back from this trip?

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Spaceball-Two
12/12/2015 at 12:59

My Mom was already a few towns over for work so I’m hitching home with her.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
12/12/2015 at 13:00

My dad kept his ‘84 from new until ‘98 when the rust was so bad it was going to fail PA inspection. He was actually considering repairing it until a family friend offered us a ‘92 Cavalier with only 30k miles for $3500 with “possible flood damage.” He sold it to a guy a few blocks down the street for $500 who got it back on the road. I still saw it driving around every now and then until 2002 when I moved away.

(No real story about the Cavalier. Old lady owner drove it into a creek maybe a foot deep. It actually ended up being in great mechanical shape and just needed some new carpeting. Despite its general slowness and boringness a great deal for us.)

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
12/12/2015 at 13:37

No, but isn’t the most unloved the hipsterest?

SuburbanDad > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
12/15/2015 at 17:53

And the speedo tops at 85. That was an eighties thing. I think the Carter Administration DOT put that reg into place.

wagonwood > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
12/15/2015 at 18:08

I have the Buick Century wagon of a similar vintage (94 but it didn’t change, still has the horizontal speedo) I honestly love it, its such a great daily and road trip car

atfsgeoff > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
12/15/2015 at 18:29

A lot of people are kind of tepid about taking older, high mileage cars on road trips. My perspective and experience is that they LOVE long, low-stress highway stints. It’s certainly a lot less abusive than 150 miles of short stop/go city drives spread across two weeks.